Parkville Author and Octogenarian Says Joy Is Contagious

Sieglinde Othmer woke up and she was 80. Her husband was dead, buried across the lake from their Parkville home. Her children lived far away.

“How was I going to be joyful?” she asked herself.

Othmer, who has a Ph.D. in social sciences from the University of Hamburg in her native Germany, had worked alongside her husband of 55 years till the day he died. Every moment of her life had been tied to him and to their children.

Just as she regained a little bounce in her step and some independence after losing him, the world shut down for Covid. By then, though, she’d decided to write a book—a guide, really—telling others how to wear their advanced agae as a badge of honor, and wear it joyfully.

Kansas City magazine caught up with Othmer, who is now 84, to learn more about the author before her July book talk at Kansas City Public Library’s Waldo branch.

“Kicking ass” comes up several times in your book. What does that mean to you? It means writing another book. It means going to Vegas like I did last weekend to see my son. Going on a cruise. Listening to the news and dealing with it. That’s kicking ass. And thinking, “How can this be a blessing?” That’s kicking ass. Not losing it in despair—that’s definitely kicking ass. Thank you for asking.

Under “J for Joy,” you wrote that “Gratitude and fear do not live in the same heart.” Do you feel fear? How do you deal with that? You read my book! Yes, it attacks us all, and it attacks me every day. In the U.S., we have it so good—most of us. But every morning I wake up and there’s this anxiety about life. Or when you wake up in the night, you get doubts, and the tape in your head goes, “What if? What if the book flops?”

I fight that with gratitude. Think about three things that I’m grateful for. Then I think about things that gave me joy in the past. What gives me joy in the next five minutes? Then I think about how I could help people with those three things. I think that’s essential to stepping back into a positive way of living.

Tell me about the merits of walking—that’s under “M for Movement.” I love walking. It’s free and it gets you out of the house. I use walking for a kind of meditation. I use it to satisfy my physical therapist. I use it for talking to my neighbors. I know all the dogs in the neighborhood. I use walking for catching ideas. You have ideas when you walk that you don’t have sitting in the house. I do it every day, rain or shine—but no ice. It’s number one for joyous longevity.

You write about socializing. How can that help save our lives? We feel connected. We exchange ideas. We are not lonely. Isolation is one of the deadly diseases. To connect is wonderful, and I’ve learned that a lot since my husband died and my kids are away. I realized just a couple days ago, the English language doesn’t separate between formal and informal like Spanish, Italian, German and certainly Greek. The English language doesn’t do that, and I think that’s lovely. If you think about attitudes, how they get shaped by your language—when you’re German, it’s so deeply ingrained; you wouldn’t dare call anyone by their first name unless you’re really family.

You mean that English’s lack of that formality shortens the space between us? Yes.

I gather from your book that you don’t quite like the idea of retiring to a beach and drinking margaritas. It’s nice for two weeks. I think we should get active. Volunteer. “P for Purpose.” That’s the key to longevity, and it can be anything.  

GO: Sieglinde Othmer talks about her book, Joyous Longevity: The A-Z Field Guide, 2 pm, July 27, Kansas City Public Library, Waldo Branch (201 E. 75th St., KCMO). RSVP for the free event at kclibrary.org/events.

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